Old Habits Die Hard
by JennyGranger
Summary: Ever since Yugi solved the Millennium Puzzle, the Spirit inside it vowed to protect the boy from all those who wished him harm. But what does he do when one of the people Yugi needs protecting from... is himself?


This story is inspired by a headcanon I have developed over quite a while. It is set sometime soon after Yugi solves the Puzzle. **This story contains self-harm.** It is also inspired by my own real life struggles.

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I didn't even know why I was doing this. When I first started, a little less than a year ago, I had a reason. Not a good reason, mind you, but a reason nonetheless. Now? I wasn't even sure. I had a better life than I did before. I had true friends; more than just Anzu. I loved having her as a friend, but growing up with just her took its toll sometimes. Now I have Honda and Jounouchi and I had finally completed the Millenium Puzzle, after eight long years with the thing. So, in the end, I couldn't even dig up a reason for finding myself here, in the bathroom, like I did so many times before.

But, then again, they all say old habits die hard.

I wasn't even really thinking about it, though. My hand seemed to move of its own accord, my fingernails gouging through the skin on my upper leg until little droplets of blood started poking out. I had been self-harming for a while now, and depressed for even longer. There was one point where I thought that such a diagnosis would bring me either more cause for concern or relief at the fact that I knew what was wrong. But it did neither. I just continued on with my life, just as I had done for years.

I didn't even know if my grandfather knew I was continuing to do this. He knew when I first started, but I'm guessing, when my life got better and I stopped coming home every other day with a black eye or a split lip, he assumed I had stopped. And I wasn't going to be the one to remind him.

I had lost track of time of how long I sat on the floor of the bathroom in our little flat, scratching away at my layers of skin cells but, suddenly, something made me stop, at least momentarily, and I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Not for the first time, I felt like I was being watched. My first thought was my grandfather, but he was downstairs, tending to the shop, not to mention, I was shut in the room, and the door remained closed. My eyes next went to the Millenium Puzzle, sitting innocently on the counter. I don't know why I brought it with me, but, ever since I solved it, I felt the need to bring it with me everywhere, even in my own home. It was laying on the side where the eye design was facing the ceiling, so I was at a loss of what the feeling was that continued to haunt me. I resumed my ministrations without even really having to decide to.

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I don't understand why he does this, but this is not the first time I've noticed him carving into his own skin with an instrument of his choosing or, like now, by his own hand. This boy who exudes light and innocence... am I the only one who notices his pain? After he solved the Millenium Puzzle and I was released from three thousand years of tormenting darkness and unrelenting shadows, I vowed that I would protect him from all who wished harm upon him. But what do I do when one of the things I needed to protect him from was himself?

I let a sigh pass through our shared lips as I removed us from the floor, hesitant to even put weight on limb he had seemed so determine to claw off. Digging around in the cabinet above the sink, I pulled out a bandage and wet a cloth. Even I had to wince when I wiped out the scratches from our leg. Why was Yugi doing this? He deserved to be happy. He deserved the world. Not for the first time, I wondered how, in the end, I would go about revealing myself to him, and exactly whose sake I was keeping in mind at the moment. His... or mine?

Deeming the injury clean enough, I ran the water and cleaned the blood from beneath our fingernails and grabbed the bandage and sat down on the closed toilet. Pushing up the leg of our boxer shorts, I wrapped the white cloth around our leg several times for good measure. When the ugly injury was clean and covered, I reached down to where our pants had been discarded and pulled them over our legs, covering all evidence of what had transpired here. Replacing everything in the cabinet, I grabbed the Puzzle and exited the bathroom, going down the hall to our bedroom. Laying down on the bed, I felt I had done a good enough job for now and relinquished control back to the one who should have had it all along.

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Blinking, I quickly sat up, my mind taking several seconds to figure out what happened and how I ended up back in my bedroom, when, last I knew I was in the bathroom. It happened again. I had blacked out. Looking around, I noticed a few things; my pants where back on, the Puzzle was on my bed, next to the pillow, and my leg didn't hurt nearly as much as it usually did afterward. My hand went down to where I had scratched and what I felt surprised me even further.

How had my leg been wrapped? Surely my grandfather didn't do such a thing without waiting around to give me a lengthy lecture when I woke back up. Nothing was making any sense. I laid back down and sighed, automatically reaching out to caress the metal pyramid next to my head. Eight long years and one heartfelt wish later... was this all that awaited me? I was still unhappy without reason and still falling into habits I had more than once vowed to leave behind. But even so...

My other hand went down so my fingers could feel the bandage underneath my pants. Someone was taking care of me. Ever since I solved the Puzzle...

Maybe I was drawing connections where none existed. Sighing, I rolled over so I was facing the wall and closed my eyes. As I felt myself drifting off into an afternoon doze, I didn't notice the slight radiance the Puzzle seemed to emit for just a moment. I had gotten used to the feeling of being watched, but this time it seemed... different. I felt... loved.

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Yeah, the ending is weird. But I hope you guys understood it. Reviews are always welcome.


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